The Weekend · Season 2026 · Week 3
Two Champions, One Tenth of a Point, and a Bench That Won't Stop Scoring.
Seven matchups, every one a rematch. All of it is now on the record.
Published Sep 27, 2026
The league has produced exactly two champions. They play each other today, and only one of them is behaving like it.
To Infinity and Bijan won the 2024 title. Burrow me in TDs won in 2025, and once beat Bijan by 67.34 points along the way, a margin normally reserved for clerical errors. Burrow is now 0-4. Bijan leads 35.3 to 6.6. The trophy, it turns out, does not score points.
Waterboy and Total Mayehem have met twice. Each has won once, both times by roughly four points, and across the two games the combined totals read 258.98 to 258.88. Two seasons of football, and they are separated by a tenth of a point. Both teams are 0-4. The schedule guarantees that one of them wins today. Nothing else does.
Last season’s Daejon Love–Kraft’sSuperBowlFormula game ended with Kraft winning by 1.86. Kraft also leaves an average of 38.7 points on the bench every week, which leads the league in a category no one campaigns for. The margin in today’s game is probably already on Kraft’s roster. The question is whether it gets to play.
Operation: Air Raid is 0-4 while scoring like a team that should have won a game or two. By the numbers, that makes it the unluckiest team in the league. Its opponent, Taco Bout a W, won their only meeting by 61.9. Luck evens out eventually. Air Raid would like to know when.
At the top, two unbeaten teams meet, and one of them will leave beaten. Dicker leads Forced 22.6 to 21.0 after Thursday, which is a lead only technically.
The Weekend is still open. Sunday writes the rest.
The Tape — Week 3
Records include the weekly median game. Scores are through Thursday.
MATCH OF THE WEEK · BATTLE OF THE UNBEATENS
Two Undefeated Teams Enter. One Record Survives.
The best all-time record in the league, against one of the two teams keeping its pace.
ForcedToPlay00 (4-0) vs. Dicker? Barely Know Her! (4-0) Series: 1-1. Dicker won 2024 Week 9 by 26.16. Forced won 2025 Week 2 by 55.14. Through Thursday: Dicker 22.6, Forced 21.0.
Forced has the best all-time record in the league and no championships. It has had an undefeated September before.
MATCHUP TO WATCH, NO. 1 · CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS
The League Has Crowned Two Champions. One Loses Today.
Burrow me in TDs (0-4) vs. To Infinity and Bijan (2-2) Series: Burrow leads 2-1. Burrow’s largest win was 67.34 in 2025 Week 13. Bijan’s only win came in 2024 Week 16, during its title run. Through Thursday: Bijan 35.3, Burrow 6.6.
The defending champion hasn’t won a game yet this season and trails by 28.7 after Thursday.
MATCHUP TO WATCH, NO. 2 · THE SOMEBODY-HAS-TO-WIN BOWL
Separated by a Tenth of a Point. Guaranteed a Winner Anyway.
Waterboy (0-4) vs. Total Mayehem (0-4) Series: 1-1. Waterboy won 2024 Week 2 by 4.2. Mayehem won 2025 Week 2 by 4.1. Through Thursday: Mayehem 28.4, Waterboy 0.0.
Mayehem’s Thursday lead is already more than three times the combined margin of their first two meetings.
MATCHUP TO WATCH, NO. 3 · THE RUBBER MATCH
Last Time It Was 1.86. Kraft’s Bench Is Rested.
Daejon Love (3-1) vs. Kraft’sSuperBowlFormula (2-2) Series: 1-1. Daejon won 2024 Week 6 by 23.04. Kraft won 2025 Week 12 by 1.86. Through Thursday: 0.0 to 0.0.
This game breaks the tie in a rivalry whose last meeting was decided by less than two points.
THE REST OF THE CARD
Gibbs Leads. Gibbs Has Zero Points.
Mr Holley (4-0) vs. Gibbs me all the TDs (3-1) Series: Mr Holley leads 1-0, from a 62.14-point win in 2025 Week 11. Through Thursday: Gibbs 0.0, Mr Holley -2.0.
Gibbs is up by two points without having scored any. That fits its season so far: 2-0 head-to-head while scoring like a team that should have about one win.
Collins Is 3-1. The Playoffs Remain Theoretical.
Collins It Like I See It (3-1) vs. TDs & Bad Decisions (2-2) Series: TDs & Bad Decisions leads 2-1. TDs won 2024 Week 7 by 39.9. Collins won 2024 Week 16 by 43.7. TDs won the 2025 meeting. Through Thursday: 0.0 to 0.0.
Collins has never made the playoffs. A sweep today, the matchup and the median, would make it 5-1.
The Unluckiest Game on the Schedule.
Operation: Air Raid (0-4) vs. Taco Bout a W (1-3) Series: Taco Bout a W leads 1-0, from a 61.9-point win in 2025 Week 9. Through Thursday: 0.0 to 0.0.
By the numbers, Air Raid is the unluckiest team in the league. Taco Bout a W ranks fourth. One of them will finally get a result it earned.